Songs about fathers
I don”t really care much for Mothers” Day or Fathers” Day, mostly because I”ve had neither mother nor father since I was 18. Still, as a father I damn well expect to get breakfast in bed today. High hopes”¦ Fathers” Day, of course, does bring to mind my late father, who died suddenly when I was 11. It has occurred to me that I am now at the same age he was when I was born, the fifth of his six children. He doubtless was far more mature than I am now. He probably wouldn”t have written blogs about moustaches in pop and the twattery of Michael Fucking Bolton. But then, I didn”t fight in World War 2, my brother did not die in war, my father was not persecuted by the Nazis, and I”ve never been widowed. Of course he was more mature than I will ever be.
My father was not quite an absentee father, but he was away a lot. The little time he had free, he needed to share between relaxation and a little socialising, wife, and, lastly, children. When he spent time with us, he was very loving, but there never wasn”t enough of him. I”ve learned from my father to make career sacrifices so that I could be a constant presence in my son”s life.
For a few years after my father died, I had occasional dreams that it was all a hoax; that he faked his death and was now coming to fetch us. About a decade after he died, I dreamt about him. He was hugging me, and I could smell him, a scent I had long forgotten (and never thought of). That was the last of my hoax dreams. In fact, twenty years or so on, I don”t think he has ever appeared in my dreams again.
Here then a few song about fatherhood, inspired by a recent series on the subject on the fine Star Maker Machine blog.
.
Everything But The Girl – The Night I Heard Caruso Sing.mp3
Not so much a song about parental relations than one of despair and hope. Released on 1988’s Idlewild album, the singer notes that just where his father lives in Scotland, the military has set up a missile system. That persuades him that he does not want to be responsible for bringing a child into this ugly world. But then he comes across something of great beauty “” a recording of early 20th century opera singer Enrico Caruso “” and it changes his notion of fatherhood, about his unborn child and about being the child of a father. It is a very beautiful song from a desperately under-appreciated album.
.
Cardigans ““ Don”t Blame Your Daughter (Diamonds).mp3
This quite brilliant 2005 track is an indictment of a really shitty father who seems to have abandoned his family. The song drips with bitterness and anger and sarcasm and a healthy shot of self-pity. “Your autograph”s worthless so don”t send me letters, and don”t mail me cash “cause your money is no good. What”s left in your mattress is holes that lack of love left, some hair from a horse and none of it is yours, man.” Somebody has Daddy Issues”¦
.
Loudon Wainwright III – A Father And A Son.mp3
Loudon”s children, Rufus and Martha, evidently are not great fans of his parenting style, as we”ll see in the next song. Here, Loudon addresses his teenage son, recalling his own difficult relationship with his father, suggesting that volatile filial interactions are hereditary. He”d rather not fight with his son: “I don’t know what all of this fighting is for; but we”re having us a teenage/middle-age war.” Presumably father and son don”t hold back when screaming at each other. And yet: “This thing between a father and a son “” maybe it”s power and push and shove; maybe it”s hate”¦but probably it”s love.”
.
Martha Wainwright – Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole.mp3
Perhaps Loudon can persuade his son, but daughter is disenchanted. He has clearly caused Martha (and, it seems, her mother) so much pain that the breakdown in their relationship is complete: “I will not pretend, I will not put on a smile, I will not say I”m all right for you”¦” And then the repeated outburst: “You bloody mother fucking asshole. Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole.” No breakfast in bed for Loudon on Fathers” Day then?
.
Gladys Knight & The Pips – Daddy Could Swear, I Declare.mp3
Ah, a father after my own heart. A man of my height (what do you mean “only” 5″7, Gladys) who knows how to swear and a short fuse. But he loved his children. This song, from 1973″s Neither One Of Us album, should resonate with adult children remembering their father through the medium of anecdote: “Ooh, my brothers and sisters still talk about how Daddy lost his temper that day. You see, he built a picket fence from the garage to the house. Well, Sam, tell me what I say, the same day the garbage man backed into the fence and the whole darn thing gave way. You should have been there”¦”
.
Johnny Cash – Daddy Sang Bass.mp3
The family that sings together, stays together. Until somebody dies. Johnny Cash didn”t have a particularly happy family; his father blamed Johnny for the accidental death of his older brother. In this song, written by Carl Perkins, the family enjoys harmony, despite poverty. “Daddy sang bass, mama sang tenor. Me and little brother would join right in there.” Now, however, they”re all dead. Cash remembers the closeness and has the religious convictions to presume meeting them again in the afterlife: “Singing seems to help a troubled soul. One of these days, and it won”t be long, I”ll rejoin them in a song.” Cash died 34 years after recording the song at San Quentin jail.
I am recycling this incredibly moving song from last year. It seems to have been very popular indeed, even though it was a mere album track from an album that was not a big hit even in Karma-Ann Swanepoel”s home country, South Africa. Karma has found someone with whom to connect on an intimate level. As the alert reader might have predicted, there is something that makes this love impossible. They have been talking a lot, always skirting around their true feelings: “So we”ll talk every now and then about our day-to-day, never saying the things we both planned to say.”
The song reflects the experiences of two female friends who are presently conversing. One has an affair with a married man who promises to leave his wife and join her in California. The other is in a difficult marriage ““ it seems she married her husband only because she felt her “time was running out”. But now that she is pregnant, she seems to love him (or so she says). “But now you love him and your baby; at last you are complete. But he”s distant and you found him on the phone, pleading, saying: “˜Baby, I love you, and I”ll leave her and I”m coming out to California”. Ooops! Obviously the husband is in love with the first woman, who loves him too. And the geometry of the relationships will be further complicated when the love triangle turns into a square soon. Woman #1 realises what will happen: “And your husband will never leave you. He will never leave you for me.” An impossible love for at least two people here, beautifully dramatised by the gorgeous Jenny Lewis.
The obstacle of the age gap was explored by Gary Puckett in his anthem to narrowly but judiciously avoided statutory rape. We don”t know how old Gary was vis-a-vis the young girl, but in Roberta Flack”s lovely song from her 1969 debut album, First Take, the relationship is between two consenting adults. The age difference here seems to be too vast to reconcile. I have difficulty buying into that: she is 21, he is 34. That”s just 13 years (and the 21-year-old girl is probably more mature than the guy). But, as Roberta tells it, “now I find according to society that our ages, they must keep us apart.” She rightly believes that the age difference is immaterial when the two of them are so much in love, “a love too strong for gossip to kill”. But gossip seems to be winning; her man unreasonably a hostage to parochial prejudices. So Roberta has to put an ultimatum to him: “What will it be ““ our ages or our hearts?”
The 1978 original of Whitney Houston”s 1985 hit by the one-time singer of the 5th Dimension. It is, of course, another adultery song (which I think is used better here than in the cheating songs instalment). Naturally, the arrangement of clandestinely banging a married man is not ideal, but she really seems to love him, and, one suspects, he really loves her too, believing that this in itself would justify ending his marriage. “You used to tell me we”d run away together. Love gives you the right to be free.” But she knows that he doesn”t really believe this to be true, that he cannot sacrifice his marital obligation on the altar of love. “You said be patient, just wait a little longer ““ but that”s just an old fantasy.” So, is he a cheating cad who is just using Marilyn? Or is he in a desperate situation in which at least two ““ and if his wife finds out possibly three ““ hearts are broken?
Ouch, she fell hard ““ “You make me feel like a lilting girl. What do you do to me?” ““ but is trapped in another relationship. “Now what am I supposed to do when I want you in my world? How can I want you for myself when I”m already someone”s girl?” For Erykah, extra-curricular activity, which her object of desire seems to be proposing, is not an option: “I know I”m a lot of woman, but not enough to divide the pie.” So it won”t happen; they cannot be together, ever. Forever ever? Well, the idea of brutal finality might be just a little too much for Erykah to bear, so she makes a deal: they”ll be together in the next lifetime. “I guess I”ll see you next lifetime. I”m going to look for you.” Which must bring modest comfort to the atheist lover.
Here we have two people who are in love, but geographical distance is coming between them. “I find the map and draw a straight line over rivers, farms, and state lines; the distance from A to where you”d be”¦” He and she, for it is a duet with Loudon”s daughter (ergo Rufus” sister), are feeling depressed about it all. “I”m miles from where you are, I lay down on the cold ground. I pray that something picks me up, and sets me down in your warm arms.” Unlike many others in the impossible love predicament, our two friends may well activate their love fully when they do get together. And in their imagination, they already are: “After I have travelled so far, we”d set the fire to the third bar. We”d share each other like an island until exhausted close our eyelids.” Can the promise of sweaty sex compensate for the agony of separation?
As the title suggests, Morrissey and his pal”s girlfriend are in a car, but instead of dreaming about double-decker busses, Morrissey is engaged in a conversation punctuated by directions. It turns out that she is not really happy with Morrissey”s pal. “So how did I end up so deeply involved in the very existence I planned on avoiding?” Morrissey has no answer, for he can”t run his mate down in a quest for this girl. She instructs him to drive on, and he does. There is an obvious attraction. Eventually they get to her place. Will she invite him up for “a cup of coffee”? Would he accept such a suggestion? In the event, she doesn”t though she probably was tempted to, and with what seems like profound regret, Morrissey notes: “I”m parking outside her home. And we”re shaking hands “˜Goodnight”, so politely.”
I”ll cheat and use the same text as I did last year. Welsh songbird Jem usually does the electronica thing, but here she is in ballad mode. And what a sad ballad it is, continuing the close-but-not-close-enough riff of Pachelbel. “I know that we can”t be together, but I just like to dream. It”s so strange the way our paths have crossed, how we were brought together.” The wonder of love desperately seeks physical expression, but even though she”d “love to spend the night”, she “can”t pay the price”, even if they are “so close to giving in”. The realisation arrives: “I know there”s no such thing as painless love”¦we can never win.” And still, in the next line Jem reiterates just how giddy this impossible love makes her “” it makes her “flying high”.
Recent Comments