Any Major Dude With Half A Heart

Love that cannot be is a vicious thing. Love is reciprocated, happiness is within one”s grasp (the song Pachelbel makes a beautiful reference to that), but something ““ marital obligation, family or class politics, sexual orientation, age gap, distance, wrong time and place ““ obstructs the path to bliss. Here”s then to songs (a couple of them recycled from last year”s post on the subject) about impossible love.

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Karma – Pachelbel.mp3
I am recycling this incredibly moving song from last year. It seems to have been very popular indeed, even though it was a mere album track from an album that was not a big hit even in Karma-Ann Swanepoel”s home country, South Africa. Karma has found someone with whom to connect on an intimate level. As the alert reader might have predicted, there is something that makes this love impossible. They have been talking a lot, always skirting around their true feelings: “So we”ll talk every now and then about our day-to-day, never saying the things we both planned to say.”

In song, however, she tells the object of her desire how she feels: “Thought it best to let you know, you crept into my mind.” And later, the most beautiful line: “I think I smile a little differently when you”re close by.” There are times when impulses threaten to take over: “Then your arms were close enough to kiss.” But, “it doesn”t happen; never will, I guess. But I can hope.” So she is stuck in a love limbo: “And it”s too late to say goodbye, it”s too early yet to think you can”t be mine.” She is distressed, and yet she finds that “there is pleasure to be found in this kind of pain”.

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Rilo Kiley – Does He Love You.mp3
The song reflects the experiences of two female friends who are presently conversing. One has an affair with a married man who promises to leave his wife and join her in California. The other is in a difficult marriage ““ it seems she married her husband only because she felt her “time was running out”. But now that she is pregnant, she seems to love him (or so she says). “But now you love him and your baby; at last you are complete. But he”s distant and you found him on the phone, pleading, saying: “˜Baby, I love you, and I”ll leave her and I”m coming out to California”. Ooops! Obviously the husband is in love with the first woman, who loves him too. And the geometry of the relationships will be further complicated when the love triangle turns into a square soon. Woman #1 realises what will happen: “And your husband will never leave you. He will never leave you for me.” An impossible love for at least two people here, beautifully dramatised by the gorgeous Jenny Lewis.

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Roberta Flack – Our Ages Or Our Hearts.mp3
The obstacle of the age gap was explored by Gary Puckett in his anthem to narrowly but judiciously avoided statutory rape. We don”t know how old Gary was vis-a-vis the young girl, but in Roberta Flack”s lovely song from her 1969 debut album, First Take, the relationship is between two consenting adults. The age difference here seems to be too vast to reconcile. I have difficulty buying into that: she is 21, he is 34. That”s just 13 years (and the 21-year-old girl is probably more mature than the guy). But, as Roberta tells it, “now I find according to society that our ages, they must keep us apart.” She rightly believes that the age difference is immaterial when the two of them are so much in love, “a love too strong for gossip to kill”. But gossip seems to be winning; her man unreasonably a hostage to parochial prejudices. So Roberta has to put an ultimatum to him: “What will it be ““ our ages or our hearts?”

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Marilyn McCoo – Saving All My Love For You.mp3
The 1978 original of Whitney Houston”s 1985 hit by the one-time singer of the 5th Dimension. It is, of course, another adultery song (which I think is used better here than in the cheating songs instalment). Naturally, the arrangement of clandestinely banging a married man is not ideal, but she really seems to love him, and, one suspects, he really loves her too, believing that this in itself would justify ending his marriage. “You used to tell me we”d run away together. Love gives you the right to be free.” But she knows that he doesn”t really believe this to be true, that he cannot sacrifice his marital obligation on the altar of love. “You said be patient, just wait a little longer ““ but that”s just an old fantasy.” So, is he a cheating cad who is just using Marilyn? Or is he in a desperate situation in which at least two ““ and if his wife finds out possibly three ““ hearts are broken?

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Erykah Badu – Next Lifetime (live).mp3
Ouch, she fell hard ““ “You make me feel like a lilting girl. What do you do to me?” ““ but is trapped in another relationship. “Now what am I supposed to do when I want you in my world? How can I want you for myself when I”m already someone”s girl?” For Erykah, extra-curricular activity, which her object of desire seems to be proposing, is not an option: “I know I”m a lot of woman, but not enough to divide the pie.” So it won”t happen; they cannot be together, ever. Forever ever? Well, the idea of brutal finality might be just a little too much for Erykah to bear, so she makes a deal: they”ll be together in the next lifetime. “I guess I”ll see you next lifetime. I”m going to look for you.” Which must bring modest comfort to the atheist lover.

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Snow Patrol feat Martha Wainwright – Set The Fire To The Third Bar.mp3
Here we have two people who are in love, but geographical distance is coming between them. “I find the map and draw a straight line over rivers, farms, and state lines; the distance from A to where you”d be”¦” He and she, for it is a duet with Loudon”s daughter (ergo Rufus” sister), are feeling depressed about it all. “I”m miles from where you are, I lay down on the cold ground. I pray that something picks me up, and sets me down in your warm arms.” Unlike many others in the impossible love predicament, our two friends may well activate their love fully when they do get together. And in their imagination, they already are: “After I have travelled so far, we”d set the fire to the third bar. We”d share each other like an island until exhausted close our eyelids.” Can the promise of sweaty sex compensate for the agony of separation?

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Morrissey – Driving Your Girlfriend Home.mp3
As the title suggests, Morrissey and his pal”s girlfriend are in a car, but instead of dreaming about double-decker busses, Morrissey is engaged in a conversation punctuated by directions. It turns out that she is not really happy with Morrissey”s pal. “So how did I end up so deeply involved in the very existence I planned on avoiding?” Morrissey has no answer, for he can”t run his mate down in a quest for this girl. She instructs him to drive on, and he does. There is an obvious attraction. Eventually they get to her place. Will she invite him up for “a cup of coffee”? Would he accept such a suggestion? In the event, she doesn”t though she probably was tempted to, and with what seems like profound regret, Morrissey notes: “I”m parking outside her home. And we”re shaking hands “˜Goodnight”, so politely.”

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Jem – Flying High.mp3
I”ll cheat and use the same text as I did last year. Welsh songbird Jem usually does the electronica thing, but here she is in ballad mode. And what a sad ballad it is, continuing the close-but-not-close-enough riff of Pachelbel. “I know that we can”t be together, but I just like to dream. It”s so strange the way our paths have crossed, how we were brought together.” The wonder of love desperately seeks physical expression, but even though she”d “love to spend the night”, she “can”t pay the price”, even if they are “so close to giving in”. The realisation arrives: “I know there”s no such thing as painless love”¦we can never win.” And still, in the next line Jem reiterates just how giddy this impossible love makes her “” it makes her “flying high”.

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In this series so far:
Love hurts
Unrequited love
Being in love
Longing for love
Heartbreak
Adultery
Death

More Songs About Love

Of all the ways love can hurt, the impossible love might be the worst. Think about it: you have found the person you love, that person loves you back. It would be perfect, but there is something that stands in your way: a spouse, a family feud or other prejudice, maybe physical distance, or the knowledge that the relationship will be destructive. It is no accident that the most celebrated of all love stories falls into this category “” Romeo and Juliet. For some, the obstacles are cleared: spouses are left (or one has an affair), or the pair elopes to escape the family, or one moves to the place where one’s love lives. None of these solutions are without risk. If the love dies, one might have lost a family, a family or a home. So one might, for whatever reason, retain the status quo while the love that can’t be consumes the poor devil. Here then are songs about love that can’t, or shouldn’t, be.

Karma – Pachelbel.mp3 (re-uploaded, December 2008)
Perhaps the most heartbreaking song of the lot is this strangely titled song, by South African folk-rocker Karma, former singer of Henry Ate. She is in love with somebody, and that love is reciprocated. His or her arms were close enough for them to kiss, but they don’t. So instead they “talk every now and then about our day-to-day, never saying the things we both planned to say.” Well, she is saying these things now, through the medium of song: “I think I smile a little differently when you’re close by.” So, what’s the state of play? “It’s too late to say goodbye; too early yet to think you can’t be mine.” So she won’t give up yet, even as she knows that this is a love that cannot be. And how can she surrender when there is “pleasure to be had in this sort of pain”?

Jem – Flying High.mp3
Welsh songbird Jem usually does the electronica thing, but here she is in ballad mode. And what a sad ballad it is, continuing the close-but-not-close-enough riff of the previous song. “I know that we can’t be together, but I just like to dream. It’s so strange the way our paths have crossed, how we were brought together.” The wonder of love seeks physical expression, but even though she’d “love to spend the night”, she “can’t pay the price”, even if they are “so close to giving in”. The realisation arrives: “I know there’s no such thing as painless love”¦we can never win.” And still, in the next line Jem reiterates just how giddy this impossible love makes her “” it makes her “flying high”.

Sara Bareilles – Gravity.mp3
The highpoint of Sara Bareilles’ fine debut album, “Gravity” implores the person she is in love with to let go of her. The song does not tell us the circumstances of this love, (which rather than can’t probably shouldn’t be), only how it makes the singer feel that he (or she, who knows?) has a hold over her, and it is pulling her down. “Something always brings me back to you; it never takes too long.” Hence the plea: “Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.”

Howie Day – Collide.mp3
Howie Day has a similar problem: he and she keep colliding (the attentive reader may well chide at this moment that the title suggests as much). For whatever reason, this love has little chance of working, possibly because the two are too different in personality. Yet the attraction won’t go away “” the old opposites attract cliché applies. The love is inexplicable, and still “I worry I won’t see your face light up again”. Indeed, it seems our boy would be much happier if this love was unrequited: “I’ve found I’m scared to know I’m always on your mind.” And so they’ll keep on colliding till they crash. Another love that shouldn’t be number.

Joseph Arthur – Honey And The Moon.mp3
The song starts hopeful: “If you weren’t real I would make you up now.” So we know, the dude’s in love. And is she who is real and need not be made up in love with him? The fourth line confirms that she is. But you already know that there is a problem, else the song would have appeared in one of last week’s posts. Joseph doesn’t tell us what the problem is. He loves her, she loves him back, they already seem to be together, but “right now, everything you want is wrong. And right now all your dreams are waking up.” He wants to follow her “to the shores of freedom, where no one lives”. I’m not certain, but I have a hunch that the problem here relates to depression, a real obstacle to love. Listen to this gorgeous song and tell me what you think.

Luther Ingram – If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don’t Want To Be Right).mp3
The late soul legend (whose earthy soul is quite in contrast with the more polished stylings of his near-namesakes, Vandross and James) tries to rationalise his bid to have the love that can’t be. It’ll all end in tears, because he is not going to leave his wife, “who needs me just as much”, but he’ll continue his affair. And he doesn’t mind the judgment of others, because”¦well, look at the title. “If being right means being without you, I’d rather live a wrong-doing life.” Can’t blame the man for falling in love, of course, and when he pleads to know: “am I wrong trying to hold on to the best thing I ever had”, who cannot empathise? The man is torn apart between love and obligation (like the hapless lovers in Billy Paul’s “Me And Mrs Jones” a year later). He has decided he won’t end the affair, for reasons he has explained. Is he right, or is he wrong?

Here is the second installment of my favourite blogs (and a couple of bloggish websites). Again, my apologies if someone feels ignored — they may well feature next time.

Fullundie
I might be easily impressed, but as a ’60s and ’70s soul fan, I am constantly blown away by Fullundie’s collection of soul albums from the era, many of which were already difficult to find when LPs could still be bought at record shops. Fullundie is a goldmine. Here’s one of my favourite ’70s soul songs (just noticed that I forgot to correct the filename. Sloppy! It’s correct in the ID tag):
The Five Stairsteps – Ooh Child.mp3

Mr Agreeable
British music writer David Stubbs is a genius. His site is not really a blog, but a collection of incisive articles and pure comedy. The Reaper is particularly brilliant, slaying sacred cows with asinine wit and knife-sharp logic. Also check out his Match Reports of England’s football games as written from the perspective of an old aristocratic xenophobe who believes that Britannia ruling the waves is the natural order as ordained by God (doubtlessly an Englishman of noble birth himself). Read a Mr Agreeable invective to make sense of my choice of song.
Martha Wainwright – Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole.mp3

Greatest Films
Not a blog, but possibly my all-time favourite non-music site. I discovered it a decade or so ago, when it was still in its infancy, and delighted in the detailed scene-by-scene synopses, with liberal quotes from dialogue, of the classic movies I loved “” and many I had not yet seen. And all that illustrated with the relevant movie posters. Today the site is legendary, as it deserves to be, with even Roger Ebert bigging it up (pity about the pop-ups though). I e-mailed webmaster Tim Dirks a few times back in the day, and he was very friendly indeed. And from my joint favourite film of all time, Singing In The Rain:
Gene Kelly, Donald O’Connor & Debbie Reynolds – Good Morning.mp3

Peanut’s Playground
The Peanut and I like much of the same kind of music. That means that when I check out Peanut’s Playground, I find that I already have most of the music on offer (which is just as well, because the Peanut puts it all on Rapidshare, which hates me). The fun is in reading the blog, with all sorts of diverting features, such as the Top 25 Albums of all time kind of lists and the new “The Movie of My Life”s Soundtrack“ gig. And I really like the design. The Playground pals have voted their 25 top albums of all time, getting some things terribly wrong (I mean, is Arcade Fire’s Funeral really the best album ever?). Each to their own, of course. In my view, Pet Sounds, Abbey Road and The Queen Is Dead are the only albums which would even have a sniff at the top 100. Since everybody ought to own Abbey Road already, here’s a cover version of a track from that album.
Peter Tosh – Here Come The Sun.mp3

Just Good Tunes
I love the eclectic, sticking-it-to-the-taste-police attitude of this album blog. The man doesn’t say much, but lets the music speak for itself. Look at the collection on page 1: Steely Dan, Bjork, Dr Seuss, Journey, Miles Davis, Cindy Lauper, and later a character called Slim Dusty, who seems to be a C&W singer. JGT likes Donovan, as do I. Therefore, here’s my favourite song by the Glaswegian troubadour.
Donovan – Atlantis.mp3

Csíkszereda Musings
Andy H is an Englishman who lives in Csíkszereda, on the fringes of Romania, as one does. His blog reflects on life in Csíkszereda, where broccoli is a recent addition to culinary delights, but where Dijon mustard remains conspicuously absent from the deli shelves. Sounds mundane? Not as Andy introduces us to life in Csíkszereda. I doubt that Andy is a massive Lisa Loeb fan, but he does support Sheffield Wednesday, so…
Lisa Loeb – Waiting For Wednesday.mp3

Mulberry Panda 96
There are movie sites I which read for the essential information “” did a movie receive good reviews; who’s in it etc “” and there are movie sites I read to be entertained. I have found few of the latter that have hit the spot, but Mulberry Panda 96 strikes the right note, with a bit of a light touch and lack of pretension. Here is the greatest song from a movie in this decade (or, indeed, many others), by Stephen Trask.
Hedwig & the Angry Inch – Wig In A Box.mp3

The Black Hole
Liz will not speak to me ever again if I don’t show her blog some love. Not a blog for grand manifestos, yet in its totally The Black Hole amounts to a grand manifesto via smart Oceanian slogans at the end of most posts. I imagine that every morning, Liz’s computer asks: “So, Liz, what are we going to do today?” And Liz replies: “Same as we do every day…” Liz loves U2 and hates ABBA (a deplorable inversion of good taste), so what better dedication than this:
U2 – Dancing Queen (live).mp3

SecretLove
Pure dude got it bad, falling in love with someone he shouldn’t have (ha, no, I won’t put up that song). So he guides us through his emotions through the medium of song lyrics and poetry. Even if not every lyric and all the poems are a Shakespeare sonnet, they express SLs emotions sincerely. And all of us who have had their hearts broken by love hat couldn’t or wouldn’t be can totally empathise. This song breaks my heart:
Jem – Flying High.mp3

Hot Chicks With Douchebags
I follow this blog, guiltily, for stuff like the pic on the right, with the Oompa Prompa in pink (who I’m sure is a lovely guy, but if he walked down your road, how would you react?). It’s a pretty mean spirited site, really, but some of these guys”¦what are these girls doing with them (unlike the hapless Oompa Prompa, there are some proper sleazeballs on that site)? At the same time, look at some of the girls, and wonder what the douchebags are doing with them. Anyway, for a bit of vindictive laughter at douchebags who pull beautiful girls like we nice guys couldn’t, this blog is sweet, and often very funny, revenge.
Joe Jackson – Is She Really Going Out With Him.mp3