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Some are titans, some are tits

November 11th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Last week the Internet magazine Nerve.com invited me, quite out of the blue, to contribute to their fortnightly feature “Five Albums You Should Listen To This Week”. It seems Nerve asks only “titans of the mediasphere” to write that column. So here we have confirmation what the loyal reader knew all along: that the halfhearteddude is indeed a titan (remember us!). So, here are Any Major Titan’s halfhearted recommendations.

I was asked to choose five albums from the country/bluegrass/folk genre.  To enforce some discipline on myself, I imposed a limit to include only 2011 releases. The five I picked are almost certain to feature in my year-end Top 20.

To offset all that good musicness, here are three of the worst records I have in my collection. Now, I wouldn’t say they are bad in the way a filler track on a Starship album or a Westlife hit or or that LP of Beatles songs being barked anything by Michael F. Bolton is bad. For those there is no redemption. These songs are bad and their creators probably know it. These are compellingly bad songs. I dare you to listen to Alan & Denise’s epic Rummenigge (a love letter to the German football player of limited likeability) and not be earwormed by it. Genius.

Alan & Denise – Rummenigge (1983).mp3
Susan Christie – I Love Onions (1966).mp3
Mrs Miller – Chim Chim Cher-ee (1966).mp3

 

 

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  1. November 11th, 2011 at 05:30 | #1

    Congratulations! They picked the right man for the job. I hope your fifteen minutes of fame are not over yet.

  2. Ton
    November 11th, 2011 at 10:07 | #2

    Rummenigge all night long!
    …a great bad record! An essential part of my collection of bad football songs, to prove it can get even worse, here is Dutch football genius Johan Cruijff ‘singing’: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2idRhbTj94

    ps. great selection of 5 albums……

  3. HM
    November 11th, 2011 at 15:02 | #3

    Congrats on your Nerve column! Well deserved. As for the 3 bad songs: choosing Mrs. Miller is shooting fish in a barrel, Rummenigge thankfully didn’t make it to the US (for obvious reasons, and for having so many syllables rhyming with “the N word”), and that onion song… damn that’s bad.

    For some great “so bad it’s good” stuff, check out The George Garabedian Players & The Awful Trumpet of Harry Arms: http://www.wfmu.org/365/2007/232.shtml “Winchester Cathedral” will never be the same again.

  4. halfhearteddude
    November 11th, 2011 at 15:17 | #4

    I will check it out.

    Alas, the Nerve thing is a one-off.

  5. halfhearteddude
    November 11th, 2011 at 15:23 | #5

    My goodness, Ton, that Cruijff thing is…well…interesting. He could have formed a trio with Gerd Müller and Franz Beckenbauer. Do you have the single recorded by Erwin and Helmut Kremers of Schalke 04?

  6. November 11th, 2011 at 21:50 | #6

    I do remember “I Love Onions” being played on AM radio in the mid 60s. It wasn’t a great novelty record but it did garner a little airplay. Meanwhile, playing the “Rummenigge” song in the wrong neighborhood will be a misunderstanding that could get oneself killed. I’ll stick with the former as I also love onions, to an extent.

  7. Ton
    November 12th, 2011 at 06:06 | #7

    …you mean this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSh1ZvUVZj4
    …bought the vinyl single for about 50 cts about a long time ago, I love those ‘singing’ football players…..
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdDIBJ91nf4

  8. sw2boro
    November 13th, 2011 at 13:48 | #8

    That Rummenigge track is the funniest thing I’ve heard in months. I think I love it.

  9. TacticalGrob
    November 16th, 2011 at 15:14 | #9

    ‘Rummenigge’ makes a fine companion piece to Gerd Muller’s ‘Dann macht es Bumm’ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DBqE–j_tE

  10. halfhearteddude
    November 16th, 2011 at 23:53 | #10

    Indeed. And if you want the MP3 of that (or Franz Beckenbauer’s opus), its here: http://www.halfhearteddude.com/2009/09/curious-germany-vol-2/

  11. TacticalGrob
    November 17th, 2011 at 14:20 | #11

    @halfhearteddude
    Thanks for that. Hadn’t heard Beckenbauer’s effort before. One listen might be enough.

  12. Ton
    November 18th, 2011 at 02:56 | #12

    Something for ‘Curious Germany vol. 4’ ?
    Chubby Checker doing his ‘Let’s twist again’ in German (but not as we know it….)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87e9T5RQ8CY
    (…if you want an mp3 of it, let me know…)

  13. halfhearteddude
    November 18th, 2011 at 07:01 | #13

    Oh, I’d love to have an MP3 of that.

  14. December 2nd, 2011 at 02:06 | #14

    Sexy knees?

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