Any Major Dude With Half A Heart

I don”t really care much for Mothers” Day or Fathers” Day, mostly because I”ve had neither mother nor father since I was 18. Still, as a father I damn well expect to get breakfast in bed today. High hopes”¦ Fathers” Day, of course, does bring to mind my late father, who died suddenly when I was 11. It has occurred to me that I am now at the same age he was when I was born, the fifth of his six children. He doubtless was far more mature than I am now. He probably wouldn”t have written blogs about moustaches in pop and the twattery of Michael Fucking Bolton. But then, I didn”t fight in World War 2, my brother did not die in war, my father was not persecuted by the Nazis, and I”ve never been widowed. Of course he was more mature than I will ever be.

My father was not quite an absentee father, but he was away a lot. The little time he had free, he needed to share between relaxation and a little socialising, wife, and, lastly, children. When he spent time with us, he was very loving, but there never wasn”t enough of him. I”ve learned from my father to make career sacrifices so that I could be a constant presence in my son”s life.

For a few years after my father died, I had occasional dreams that it was all a hoax; that he faked his death and was now coming to fetch us. About a decade after he died, I dreamt about him. He was hugging me, and I could smell him, a scent I had long forgotten (and never thought of). That was the last of my hoax dreams. In fact, twenty years or so on, I don”t think he has ever appeared in my dreams again.

Here then a few song about fatherhood, inspired by a recent series on the subject on the fine Star Maker Machine blog.

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Everything But The Girl – The Night I Heard Caruso Sing.mp3Not so much a song about parental relations than one of despair and hope. Released on 1988’s Idlewild album, the singer notes that just where his father lives in Scotland, the military has set up a missile system. That persuades him that he does not want to be responsible for bringing a child into this ugly world. But then he comes across something of great beauty “” a recording of early 20th century opera singer Enrico Caruso “” and it changes his notion of fatherhood, about his unborn child and about being the child of a father. It is a very beautiful song from a desperately under-appreciated album.

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Cardigans ““ Don”t Blame Your Daughter (Diamonds).mp3
This quite brilliant 2005 track is an indictment of a really shitty father who seems to have abandoned his family. The song drips with bitterness and anger and sarcasm and a healthy shot of self-pity. “Your autograph”s worthless so don”t send me letters, and don”t mail me cash “cause your money is no good. What”s left in your mattress is holes that lack of love left, some hair from a horse and none of it is yours, man.” Somebody has Daddy Issues”¦

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Loudon Wainwright III – A Father And A Son.mp3
Loudon”s children, Rufus and Martha, evidently are not great fans of his parenting style, as we”ll see in the next song. Here, Loudon addresses his teenage son, recalling his own difficult relationship with his father, suggesting that volatile filial interactions are hereditary. He”d rather not fight with his son: “I don’t know what all of this fighting is for; but we”re having us a teenage/middle-age war.” Presumably father and son don”t hold back when screaming at each other. And yet: “This thing between a father and a son “” maybe it”s power and push and shove; maybe it”s hate”¦but probably it”s love.”

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Martha Wainwright – Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole.mp3
Perhaps Loudon can persuade his son, but daughter is disenchanted. He has clearly caused Martha (and, it seems, her mother) so much pain that the breakdown in their relationship is complete: “I will not pretend, I will not put on a smile, I will not say I”m all right for you”¦” And then the repeated outburst: “You bloody mother fucking asshole. Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole.” No breakfast in bed for Loudon on Fathers” Day then?

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Gladys Knight & The Pips – Daddy Could Swear, I Declare.mp3
Ah, a father after my own heart. A man of my height (what do you mean “only” 5″7, Gladys) who knows how to swear and a short fuse. But he loved his children. This song, from 1973″s Neither One Of Us album, should resonate with adult children remembering their father through the medium of anecdote: “Ooh, my brothers and sisters still talk about how Daddy lost his temper that day. You see, he built a picket fence from the garage to the house. Well, Sam, tell me what I say, the same day the garbage man backed into the fence and the whole darn thing gave way. You should have been there”¦”

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Johnny Cash – Daddy Sang Bass.mp3
The family that sings together, stays together. Until somebody dies. Johnny Cash didn”t have a particularly happy family; his father blamed Johnny for the accidental death of his older brother. In this song, written by Carl Perkins, the family enjoys harmony, despite poverty. “Daddy sang bass, mama sang tenor. Me and little brother would join right in there.” Now, however, they”re all dead. Cash remembers the closeness and has the religious convictions to presume meeting them again in the afterlife: “Singing seems to help a troubled soul. One of these days, and it won”t be long, I”ll rejoin them in a song.” Cash died 34 years after recording the song at San Quentin jail.